Sometimes when I go to write and prepare a lesson it’s simple. I’ll be reading and God gives me something and I’m good to go. The words are flying across my laptop as quickly as they’re popping into my head. They are the most enjoyable ones that I do. Then there are other times when I sit in my front of my laptop and experience a bad case of writer’s block. Being honest in your writing and in your teaching takes balance.

You don’t wanna expose too much where you feel completely naked, but you want to expose enough so others can be healed through seeing your scars. When creating a Bible lesson I used people from the Bible, and at times I use myself. I believe when you use your own personal experiences from your life,  it makes it, well, more personal.  And personable.  

There will never be another Job. There will never be another John The Baptist. There will never be another Enoch or Elijah.

But there will certainly be another recovering alcoholic. There will certainly be another recovering drug addict. There will certainly be another sex addict. When you are able to use your personal experience while ministering to others, there is a connection made between yourself and the people reading it.

It’s extremely relatable, because many are suffering or have suffered from the same things, or at least know someone who has.  I am always honest, but sometimes I struggle with how forthcoming I should be.  Some things should be private and between you and God only. Some things should be between you and your spouse only. God gives us discernment for such things. He gives us a brain and an ability to reason and make sound decisions.

So this message will be a little personal.

Men we are told to be strong

As Men we are told to be strong. We are taught to be strong. Always be strong. Never be weak. You can’t be weak. You must always be strong. And all the while we’re being strong, we’re also suffering on the inside. You cannot always be just one thing. It’s not even healthy to be that way.  You cannot always be fast, without sometimes being slow, or else you’ll burn yourself out. You can’t always be talking, and never listening. Or else you’ll never learn to communicate and have an actual conversation. You cannot always be sleeping, and never be working, or else you’ll never have anything. We must be balanced. So if you’re always strong, when are you ever weak?

If society tells you that you always need to be strong, and your Parents tell you, and your wife tells you, and the world tells you, and you try putting this into practice, let me tell you something, you will develop a deep relationship with Jesus that way! Jesus opposes the strong. He opposes the proud. He uplifts and emboldens the weak. You cannot be strong and stand in front of him. No one can. 

You cannot look upon God and be proud. His Glory destroys the proud! His Glory crushes the strong. His Glory causes those who Men fear to tremble before him. Why did the prophets fall on their face in his presence? Why did these Men become frail when he spoke? This is why we should not fear Men. We should fear God. What can Man do to us that God cannot break!

Satan tempts you when you’re weak, Jesus meets you when you’re weak. The stronger we strived to be naturally, the weaker we become spiritually. If Jesus is strong when I am weak, then I need to be weak in order to become strong spiritually. But if I’m always pretending to be strong, then I’m removing the opportunity for him to be strong in me. The more I place on my shoulders, the weaker I become. The more I place on Jesus’ shoulders, the stronger I become. It’s not like lifting weights. You don’t grow faith by taking on more problems. You grow your faith by trusting God and giving him your problems.

If you wanna be strong, don’t get into an argument with someone who cuts you off in traffic. Don’t yell at your wife or your child when they make a mistake. Even if it’s one they should not have made. Real strength is not doing the things you normally would do. But as Men were not taught that strength. We’re not taught to be strong in these ways. How are you supposed to tell your wife or your girlfriend that you don’t know the answer?  You don’t.   You’re supposed to know the answer.  If you don’t know the answer, then you’re supposed to get the answer. That’s what a Man does. What kind of Man are you trying to be?

We have created unrealistic expectations on what a Man is supposed to be. Jesus said “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing“. Anything you’re trying to accomplish out of your own strength will fail. It will lead you to frustration, bitterness, and confusion. I am the youngest of 5 siblings. I have two Brothers and three Sisters making me number 6. Before my Mother went to be with the Lord, she assigned me to be her power of attorney. So I was tasked with handling her financial affairs as well as carrying out her medical wishes if she was in a position where she could not make her own decisions. It was one of the hardest periods of my life.

I had also just started a new job as well, adding to the stress. There were numerous trips back and forth to the Hospital, phone calls in the middle of the night, sleepless nights, leaving work early, talking to Doctors, everything you could imagine. My youngest sister and myself carried the load when my Mother was ill in those days. Because my Mother trusted me to handle her affairs and make decisions about her life, he forced me to be strong, even if I wasn’t on the inside. When you walk with God, and people see you walking with God, God’s presence paints a perception of you to other people. Other people look at you in a way that you don’t look at yourself.

While I didn’t feel strong, I felt weak, but to the people watching me, including my siblings, I appeared strong so I was. I could not have appeared strong, and gave off the perception of being strong, if I wasn’t weak. You’re not hearing me. I said if I wasn’t weak to begin with in that situation, then Jesus would not have been able to show his power through me. 

Jesus was carrying me.  It was his power that was being seen in me.  Jesus said to Paul “in your weaknesses my power is perfected in you”. So wherever you are weak, whatever areas of your life where you are struggling, God will make you strong, but that doesn’t mean you will feel strong!

You don’t have to feel strong in order to be strong. And pretending to be strong is not the same as being strong. The Man that society is telling you you should be, is not the Man that God is trying to build you to be. We are receiving conflicting messages, so we have Men who are afraid to admit when they need help!  When they’re feeling weak.

I’m not saying you need to march up and down the street professing your weak to your neighbors, but you need to be on your face confessing your weak to Jesus.. We want to be superman to our wives to our kids to our neighbors to our friends, and it’s killing us on the inside. Who can a Man go to when he is at his emotional bottom?  Many of us can’t go to our wives for fear of how she would look at you.  

So you can’t be weak in front of your wife, you can’t be weak in front of his kids, the only safe place to go to is another Man.

Men need other Men. If you’re a Man who’s married, and you have a wife that discourages you from being around other Men, that is not a small problem. Your wife or your girlfriends is wrong if they’re encouraging this to you. Granted they must be the right kind of Men. Men in the Lord who are walking with the Lord who only want good things for you. Not Men who are trying to persuade you to sin or go back to a sinful life. 

Do you know there are Men who can count on one hand how many times in their lives they’ve been told “I love you” by another Man? Not even their Fathers told them “I love you”. I watched a film where a son burst out into tears because he believed his Father didn’t love him.

In that moment the Father could have said I love you, but he didn’t. Instead he told the son a story.

We’re good at telling stories, and saying things like “I feed you”, “I clothe you”, “I make sure you have a roof over your head”, etc etc. But we are very poor at telling another Man or male that we love them. Even when it’s our own male kids.  And It’s not because we don’t. So why do we do it? It’s because we were taught that as Men we don’t say that kind of thing to other Men. It creates vulnerability. Being vulnerable is kryptonite to a Man. We hate it. We hate being vulnerable. We do just about anything to avoid feeling it. Women live in the space of vulnerability. Not only were they created to handle vulnerability, but society has allowed them to be vulnerable.

In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says this to his disciples: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light“. I never understood what this meant, because Christian life is not easy. Following Christ is not easy. If it was easy, so many people would not have stumbled while doing it. Peter would not have denied him three times. His disciples would not have abandoned him during his persecution, his trials and his crucifixion. Elijah would not have run Jezebel’s chariot when they were seeking to kill him.

So that scripture has always caused me to pause in my understanding. Following Jesus is anything but easy. And then when you add on the day-to-day stuff that we deal with that’s out of our control, this can be a very stressful life.

So what does he mean when he says “for my yoke is easy and my burden is light; come to me all who are weary”? The definition of weary is a person who has grown tired due to excessive exertion or lack of rest. As Men, we are weary. Weary from the burden of what’s been unfairly thrown on us. Weary because we’ve been told that we should be able to do it all. Weary because no matter where you are in your life, as a man you should be able to make something of your life. With little help, or even with no help, you’re supposed to be able to make something out of your life.

Were weary because no one asks us sincerely, are you ok?  Do you need help? When was the last time you have heard those words from someone and it was sincere?  You can look around you and see what exactly is expected of you. More men die of cancer each year, more men suffer from alcoholism and drug addiction, more Men are homeless, but there’s less programs, less compassion, and less help available to us. Men are weary. What you see and the environment you live around shapes you. It creates your perception.

I had a Brother who fell on hard times and literally didn’t reach out to me for help until the cupboards were bare. I said to him “don’t you ever do that again”! We need each other. Whatever you can’t do, Jesus can do, and he may give you the power to do it, or bring someone else to you who can, but until we stop pretending like we can do and be all the things that this society is saying were suppose to be, we will never be what Jesus wants us to be. Jesus loves giving us grace. He loves when we’re weak and he can work through us. Because it Glories him, which in turn Glories God, which in turn causes people who see you to exalt you.

Every person God has ever gave favor to has been exalted. You won’t find one person in the Bible that this has not happen to. You don’t have to be the strongest man around. You just need to be the humblest. That’s the secret to Gods best. It’s humility. It’s the opposite of what a Man is supposed to be today. It’s the opposite of being a superman. A superman in the Kingdom is a humble man.

God is not looking for the strongest one, he’s looking for the weakest one

It’s the opposite of a prideful man.  God has a PHD in breaking the pride of those men.  You can think you don’t need God, but God will put you in a situation, where you will crumble to your knees because it hurts so bad.  You will be seeking his face.   Whatever strength you think you had will disappear. I’m speaking to someone right now. Areyou strong? Lose a child. You don’t need anybody? Lose your house. Lose your job. Lose your 401k. Lose your Family.

God is not looking for the strongest one, he’s looking for the weakest one. He’s looking for the Man who falls to his knees to get his strength, not the Man who walks around with his chest poked out saying “I got this”! When God humbles you, it is no small feat. Read your Bible. He has many ways to do it. None of them are good. We were conditioned to be this way. Some Men don’t even pray with their Families. They pray, but not out loud with their Family. They don’t want to be vulnerable in front of them. They don’t want them to know they don’t know the answers and have to get them from God.

But as a Father, if you are strong enough to show your sons and your daughters to go to God when you don’t know the answers, you’re teaching them to go to God when they don’t know the answers too. Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light because he will carry your fears and your worries of this world on his shoulders. But you have to place them there. He’s not going to wrestle them away from you. 

You have to make the decision to trust them with him. You can think through a thousand different scenarios on how something can go, and drive yourself into a straight jacket trying to control what is out of your control anyway. Or, you can give it to Jesus who has already mapped out the end of the scenario for your benefit.

Men, do not be deceived by false Teachers only preaching the blessings of Jesus. Because God uses troubles and obstacles that enter our lives as tools to sculpt our hearts and bring us closer to holiness. God works that way. God’s not changing the way he works.

Most people tend to believe if God did this or if God did that, then I would believe it’s him! But Jesus did many miracles during his ministry, and many people still didn’t believe. God doesn’t need to perform more miracles, we need to become more spiritual. You cannot become more spiritual when you’re constantly weary, which is why Jesus said to place our fears, our insecurities, our anxieties, our scars, and our wounds, on his shoulders. You cannot serve God effectively if you’re constantly bogged down by these things. Also Men, God does not live in the past, so neither should we. Whatever has passed has passed. We cannot get it back again, nor do we get another shot at it.

It is not striving to be holy that makes us weary, It is the opposition from the world that makes us weary. If the Men are weary, then they’re too tired to fight. Satan is not stupid. He works hard to make the Men of God weary. A Man who is constantly weary cannot serve God effectively. A Boxer cannot competitively face his opponent if he’s been running a marathon for the last 2 days with minimum sleep right before the fight. He would be at his weakest. A weary Man can’t watch over his Family the way he needs to. So if the Man is weary, who’s going to carry the sword when the enemy approaches?

I am speaking spiritually, because our sword is the word of God. You have effectively been disarmed, and what used to be a threat to the kingdom of darkness, has been removed leaving the sheep vulnerable to be slaughtered.

And that’s where we are now. There is a scattering amongst the most vulnerable of sheep, the Women and children. Because the order of God is being challenged. And not only his order, but also his wisdom. Jesus is not trying to change this world through us. He’s trying to recover the sheep that have been scattered because they’ve adopted bad doctrine. And along the way by God’s grace we will gain new ones. Because there are always new ones to be gained. Many Men who are in charge of teaching the truth have adopted bad teachings and doctrine as well, because it is more profitable.  But the ones who are steadfast in the truth, satan works hard to lower their reputations and attack their characters so those who should listen to them, are persuaded otherwise.

What is honorable to God, is lost on Man. Not Men of Christ, but Men and Women of the world. They praise the single family home led by the Mother, but make no mention of the home maintained under God by the Father and Mother. The women of God are to be honored. She is honorable in the eyes of God. 

The Man of God is the pillar, and God holds this man in high regards. He is the head, and his role is irreplaceable. To replace him, is to lose the Kingdom of God. A home without a Man, is a home susceptible to chaos, confusion, and deception. It is akin to a dessert with only a mist for water.  I’m speaking of Men of Christ, not men of the world.

We battle many secret struggles.  Men of God, there is no public outcry for our struggles. Why would there be? Satan’s goal is to destroy God’s family, and make the Man an accessory from his position of necessity.

So yes, Men are weary.  At some point, our weights get too heavy.  You can only lift so much before you suffer injury. Tendons start to tear. Ligaments break down. Bones ache.  We are weary.  Whatever your carrying Men, give it to Jesus. Let him have it. It’s time now. If you’re a Man and have never in your adult or adolescent life ever heard the words I love you from another Man, let me be the first to say I love you Brother!

 I know we’ve been deduced down to the number of zero’s in our bank accounts, or our ability to change a flat tire. But we are much more than that.

Give Jesus your insecurities. Give him your scars. Give him your hurts. Give him your fears. Give him access to the room where you keep all those things hidden. Even from him. We hide things from the Lord.  

Do you trust him to dig through those places in your life? Will you trust him to dig through those places in your life? I thank God for you Brothers. We are a gift to one another in perilous times such as these. I hope this message reached those who God intended. We plant. We water. God gives the increase. God bless you!